it's weird. i don't know who to talk to anymore sometimes. i have my problems, my own worries, my own doubts, my own moments i'd like to share. i can share with jeremy a lot but his only reciprocation is sympathy not empathy. he doesn't know what its like to be in the mind of someone who is kind of flailing or lost. he knows what he wants in life. he's confident that he's found his happiness in life. for the most part, he's content with the way the world is or at least his part in the world.
my other friends, who could possibly empathize..they have their own problems...some far worse than mine. they're still growing and changing and just as lost themselves in some ways.
i can cast my problems online to the world of global exchange..but casual acquaintances and casual emails aren't intimate enough. between the lines and the text, some of what you are trying to say gets lost..the facial expressions, the inflexions in your voice, the way your hands move...those things say things too.
so i stay blank. frustrated. and alone. i'm learning to be okay with that. perhaps, only i will truly be able to get myself through my life.. i just keep thinking it would be nice if i had a partner in misery as well. :)
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