baby oh my

oh lord. i just watched something this afternoon that i know i shouldn't have. it was this special on the oxygen channel about motherhood. it was the real deal.. one of those few shows that tells it like it is. they don't show the kids being cute and silly. they show the kids acting up, throwing hissy fits, crying, yelling, misbehaving.

you can see the death in the mother's eyes..that frustration of being trapped by this kid you're supposed to unconditionally love..because that's what your mother did and her mother before that. it shows what real hard work and patience it takes to raise a child. i just remember watching in horror as one woman was trying to cook, give an interview, and look after her kids. the kids were digging through things, knocking things around, screaming, and crying. i wanted to shoot the woman to put her out of her misery.

i keep trying to see the good in children but i'm not fooled by what they are.. they are young humans..they will grow up to be women and men like you and i. they're not a separate entity. some of those kids will grow up to be assholes...some will grow up to be criminals.. angels eventually fall. :)

i'm not fooled by the little darlings. i'm not going to be fooled into motherhood with those hallmark ads about how great babies are. if i'm going to have children, i'm going in knowing full and well what the consequences are..and what the reality of my expectations are. it's not all bad..but it's not all good.