promises

despite the promises i made to myself, i have stayed up late again. there's something about this week that has been pressing and bothering me. i have this sinking feeling in my heart as if something terribly horrible has taken over me. i don't know what it is. i can't shake it. oh well. i think i shall try to read and fall asleep.

jerms is coming tomorrow. i can't wait. we're supposed to cook some pork and stuff for dinner and we have a 10 week block buster card to rent movies. i know he's going to make me go to bed early. he's a fuddy duddy like that...but something about being forced to do stuff you don't want to do is kinda fun...in a sick sort of way.. until it becomes oppression. he's the devoted, responsible one..and i'm the rebellious, irresponsible one..not to mention horrible and mean. :)
ah well. maybe i can sleep tomorrow away until he comes.