the alarm goes off. my eyes strain to open. i'm staring at the blur
around me thinking "god.. i hate my life"....
depression is seeking in. i reset my alarm for another ten minutes of sleep.
what if i just don't wake up.. .ever
you're an idiot. people would kill to have your life.
are you financially burdened?
no
are you starving? do you not have enough sustenance?
no
hmm.. are you dying? terminal illness?
no
THEN GET UP and stop feeling sorry for yourself!
moan..groan

i spent the rest of the morning trying to convince myself that my life isn't that bad..that i can take on whatever it is that's bother me... but i'm still lonely and stressed..and distressed and frustrated..and the futility is starting to kick in..
maybe i should go get some happy drugs...