what was I going to say? was I going to say anything.
I accidentally started writing in my architectural journal. Words keep pouring from my mind, finally able to escape the oppression of my lips. FLOWING.
I'm so uninhibited by the words that I write in a sealed journal. why am i so afraid of the world?

I don't know who to be anymore. This time last year, this journal was a safe place to be because I wouldn't dare venture out and speak my mind. Everything was only about a daily log of my physical activities. I have so much more now that I want to say. I want to be that outrageous voice that mocks me in my sleep.

I want to say those things that will offend you.

And I want to stay in silence. I want to suffer in this hellish world of COMPLETE aloneness. I get bitter when I see this crystallized world I live in. I feel loathing for everyone who is content and I feel guilty that I don't suffer more. BUT in the end, I do nothing.

I have so much to share and so much to say but I'm locked up. I have no one to blame except myself. I am my own oppressor.