ugh. i have that hefty lump of anxiousness hanging in my throat. i always get this right after i have ridden a large wave of procrastination. i'm totally stressing over my papers right now. i have more of an idea of what i want to write now but nowhere near a solid concept. i have to stop thinking soon and start writing.. but not tonight. tonight i need to shower and start doing some paid work that should have been done Friday.
:( tomorrow will be crunch time. if i were diligent, tonight could be more productive. :P
we'll see.

i keep thinking i need to just run. run. run. i'd probably only come full circle and find myself in the same situation. i always do. am i living the same cycle every day?
i know there are many people in this world who don't.

excerpt from my notes on reading for my paper:
"as humans advance into a more transient lifestyle, is not there home more "the world" than 111 Smith Street? Are not our homes the civic structures, the recognizable structures of what we claim as human, as ours?..the plane, the bus, the train, the cheap hotel rooms, the crowded markets, even the pattern of people moving in the street??"

i wrote that in response to this passage of John Ruskin's, "The Seven Lamps of Architecture." :
"I say that if men lived like men indeed, their houses would be temples---temples which we should hardly dare to injure, and in which it would make us holy to be permitted to live; and there must be a strange dissolution of natural affection, a strange unthankfulness for all that homes are given and parents taught, a strange consciousness that we have been unfaithful to our fathers' honor..."