no nose

i somehow managed to get sick the weekend before i had to return to work. j gave me something. casualty of living with someone. they're woes become yours. anyhow, my nasal passages have been swollen for the past few days. i can't breathe out of them until i'm unconscious. they've never been this swollen. i took some antihistamines but they didn't work. my mom told me to use the nasal spray she gave j before we left. aaaah yeah.

i can breathe finally. that stuff if powerful shit. it feels so good to be able to breathe normally. stuff you take for granted when your healthy. anyhow, this whole nose thing made me paranoid about maybe having a cancer in my nose or something. and that got me to thinking of those people you see on tv with half their faces caved in from the removal of the tumor. i kept asking myself, would i be able to live like that? random huh? i don't think i'd want to live if it meant i had to be deformed. i guess that makes me rather shallow. but who else gets to define reasonable limits of suffering, if not ourselves?

i got a bush (mis) speak calendar for christmas. i finally opened it up and put it on my desk at home yesterday. the quote for Jan 1st was hilarious.

"The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production."

-G.W. Bush, November 27, 2002
Speaking at the White House during the signing of the September 11th Commission Bill.

i should be practicing ET but i think i'm going to crawl into my nice soft bed and watch some tv before i pass out.