last day of going to work at the office. i'm glad.
we went to the lake today and played frisbee. i suck at it. i keep throwing the
darn thing in weird angles. we also went hiking up some walking trails.
it's weird being out in nature. i'm so used to an airconditioned world. :)



john and jerms are playing jedi knight two. tomorrow is dessy's 3rd birthday. happy birthday kitty! we'll have to play with her extra extra.

not much to report. my life is pretty lifeless right now.
baaa-aa-a-a-a-a

i'm so bored at work i tried to write down
all 50 states. i got all but seven.
i missed wymoning, winsconsin, vermont, nevada, missouri, and idaho

i'm am a consumer junky.
i love to consume everything.
i wonder how this sort of conditioning begins.
consumerism=happiness=success
what a messed up mind.

i started calculating my finances.
if jerms and i only spend 2000 dollars a month for the next ten years, without
our current salaries, we could be halfway to the million dollar mark. that's with both
of us working of course. somehow, that just won't happen. i know it. there's always that
MISC catagory of spending..the black hole of consuming that just appear out of nowhere and
sucks up your "savings"... i really don't know where all of that money goes. i guess i do have
some vague idea. i go out to eat here and there, i buy knick knacks that i don't need, i buy
presents, groceries, and other goodies. i'm sure the contribute to the black hole somehow.

today, we are going shopping. :)

hahahahahaha..and the cyle never ends

well, i left work early today. there wasn't much for me to do.
i'm feeling a little out of place in this city. I have no work and I
have nothing to do. I have no purpose!

I got home and my computer won't start up. I'm using jeremy's pc right now.
I got so bored at work that I asked jeremy to start up a rpg campaign for me. He's going to be my DM. So far, I've ended up in a tavern buying some ale for four copper pieces. :)

Guess I'll go roam the internet now.

well, i'm sitting at my desk at the office.
there's no work for me. i wish i had a webcam so i could webcast the shear boredom
i'm experiencing. you know misery loves company. i'm also hungry and i hate being hungry.
i have some cherios in the drawer and some oj next to my monitor. there are about 10 other people at the
office right now. No one is doing work. Things are so slow here. My hope is to one day start up a
design firm of my own...i wouldn't even care if it was strictly graphic or high impact. If I had
enough money, I'd start up a non-profit firm for supporting local art. progression suggests that
one day we'll all be afforded the rights to be artists. what a bias thought. i should shut up. i'm not
making sense anymore.

it's been awhile. my life has been in total limbo for the past few weeks.
i'm in ft. worth working right now. i'll be here for one more week before returning back to Austin to go to summer school.

i feel almost lifeless. working or i should say the working schedule really put me out of it. i feel like i don't want to do anything. my office life is depressing. i'm watching these people with predictable lives and they're all happy. We're all conditioned to live this life we think is "right" or "happy". We're striving to optimize our lives. The problem is that most of us who live in society are conditioned to believe in one kind of happiness. I call it the ONE-mode system. STABILITY- what we all do to get at this. It's crazy. What stability leads to is predictability. Predictability can be good but how much can you stand it? My mother has lived the same day for the past 15 years. I don't know if I'm capable of doing that without going insane. I hate thinking about one day having to go to the same job for the next 15 to 20 years BUT at the same time, I'm thinking "i should be so lucky to know i'll be secure for the next 10 to 15 years."

sigh.

i'll play on my puter.
i'll do some daily exercises.
i'll take a shower.
i'll dry my hair.
i'll floss.

i'll be in bed around midnight.

double sigh.

Today has been pretty dull. I watched Stepmom again. I've been trying to avoid the temptations of my kitchen. Jeremy's mom came by and dropped off some apple bananna cake. My mom made some raisin bread and there's a huge stash of chocolate bars in the pantry! Ugh. Anyhow, I took some pictures of my beautiful kitties. Thought I'd share them.

tigger chair 1	tigger chair 2	tigger chair 3	tigger chair 4
dessy sunshine	jerm's mom's cake	mom's bread	candy bars