indifference

i don't know if i ever said but the people at the Chippery (where i get my strawberry bananna shake everytime i go to school) finally remembered me. The guy was like "larger strawberry bannana?" i was like "Yup!". heheh. it only took a month. i love their shake..it's mmmlicious times 10000.

i have that lost feeling again..as if the demons of nothingness are coming to consume me. i don't know who to be, when to be, or if i'm really being me..if there is a me. i wonder what it's like to go through life never contemplating or questioning our existence. what is it to be human.. to eat, live, die, kill, burn, slay, rape, torture, steal, love, comfort..etc.. and i wonder how much of happiness is genuine and part of our natural reality. afterall, our happiness is usually at another's expense even if we can't see it.... but tomorrow, i'll get up and go about my day...wow, how easy it is to be indifferent.