you wonder, after so many friends pass you by without looking back, am i that easy to forget? i've had so many friends, the best of, who have walked on without looking back. they move on and i do not. i weigh in my mind, i torture myself with thoughts of paranoia. it was all a game. there is no such thing as sincerity. or perhaps it is impossible to truly be sincere to me since i am not a real person. futility is one of my greatest fears. futilty of relationships. do we reallly walk on having gained nothing from them except for bitterness and distrust? maybe this is just my world. fairytales are like nightmares of abandonment with the godmother the keeper of our timed moments of happiness...it's just a matter of time.