Bloody Muddy

the carpet got muddied when they installed the water heater so i spent a good deal of time vacuuming the dirty up and using resolve to take out the stains. i also took out the garbage. i hate having to collect the garbage from each room. when i was dumping the garbage in my brother's bathroom, the bag slipped an all the garbage came out on the floor. ugh.

i'm a starvin marvin right now. i'm trying to think of what to eat.
i still have lots to do today. i've got to seriously start thinking about writing my final paper for my urban politics class. heh.

if only all challenges had chocolate bars at the end of the journey. i'd have everything done right away. :)

The Sauna

well the handyman's been here since 9 something. It took him awhile to drain out all of the water in the water heater. the attic must be as hot as hell because it's causing the rest of the house to heat up big time..and he's all sweaty and dehydrated. i should have offered him a coke but i didn't. he asked for water so i told him to help himself to anything in my fridge. how dumb of me. i should have offered something. i have bad construction work ettiquite. i never know what to do.

are you supposed to stay around and chat with them while they work, are you just supposed to act like you're supervising, or are you supposed to just sit on your computer typing while watching them work.

there's going to be some major carpet cleaning after they're gone. they tracked in a lot of mud.

here's an example of stupid construction: when they first built this house, they put in the water heater and then sealed it in with construction members. now i'm going to have two water heaters in my attic. i don't know if i entreily buy the story but it sure as heck looked impossible to get that thing out. maybe..with some chainsaws.

Here's a great article about the "under god" controversy from the side of a non-american.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/bush/story/0,7369,745265,00.html


HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!

i kept dreaming that it was much later than it was.
i kept dreaming i had slept the day away, when really i had hardly slept at all.
when the knock came from the handyman, i was barely alive. i said my hello and good morning and let him in. while he was getting things ready upstairs, i quickly shoved a piece of bread in my mouth. i was hoping that eating would help me liven up.

unfortunately, my water heater has to be replaced because of leaking.
this means tomorrow i will have to wake up super early for them to replace it.
i miss over-sleeping.

you feel your life calling you back. to its most primal being.
a time and a place where you were something greater. where your battles were fighting themselves
and left
and happy to be unsolved. this is the time of nothingness. just wear your pearls little girl. and be mommy's good dearest little girl.

jerms: guess what?
me: chicken butt
jerms: guess why?
me: chicken thigh
jerms: guess where?
me: chicken hair
jerms: guess who?
me: chicken poo!
jerms: guess how?
me: chicken brow
jerms: guess when?
me: chicken hen

and all her other variations

the mechanic/handyman guy came and did his magic and now i have hot water.
there's a pool of mysterious water underneath the water heater though. also, we have no idea why the water heater stopped working. i suspsect it's because jeremy and i flipped the breakers when we were installing a new thermostat. i think the waterheater swtich is loose. i REALLY need to learn how to do my own handywoman stuff. it would save lots of money.

they have classes at Lowe's and Home Depot I think that teach you how to do stuff. when jeremy moves here, i think i'll sign us up for some classes.

the handyman is coming back tomorrow to check things out and make sure nothing is seriously wrong. the last thing i need is a waterheater coming through my ceiling.

i'm so tired too. i haven't been able to sleep lately. staying up late and all. just want a big fat nap on a stick.

i called our handyman and he's coming over tomorrow morning to fix my hot water problem. cold shower are horrible.

today i worked a lot on my character for Shadowrun. it's a fairly complicated game. i can see why people have to be obsessed with this stuff to play. there's just a ton of crap to read.

we'll prolly fully create character this weekend.

it rained today. started right after i got out of my car so i made it to my house on time. it was nice to see rain even if it was for a short while.

i bought oj at HEB. i'm addicted to oj.

sucka! no running hot water.
i had to take a freezing shower!
brrrrrr. i called management and they said that they aren't responsible for
interior problems. i don't even know where the water heater is. i think it's in the
attic. this totally sucks. jeremy is going to call his dad to see what i should do to check out the problem.

ugh. i'm totally on acid right now. i'm restless. i'm moody. i'm totally not wanting to finish my paper and i'm almost done. i just can't sit still! i ran out of oj (my primary source of fluid) so i stole some of jeremy's vanilla coke since we're out of Dr Pepper. It's okay if i take it in small sips.

ugh. i am stressing.

i'm obsessed with this idea of having cool drinks in my room.

mini refrigerators
and
compact fridges

what to get? how to get?
hehehehe. now i remember why i wish i were rich.

isn't it always fascintating how there's always so many things you REALLY WANT TO DO whenever you have SOMETHING ELSE you have to do.
i sware. Mondays suck. i don't want to do my readings and write my essay.

i'd rather browse other people's website, scan in old pictures, do chores, watch not so great make overs on TLC.

last night, i watched the World Cup Pastry show on the Food Channel.
It all looked so beautiful and delicious. I love watching chocolate desert get made.
which reminds me, i want to scan in pictures of my mom's cakes. she makes gorgeous cakes.

ick. why can't i focus?

i got this hankerin to re-arrange stuff today. with jerms help i re-arranged the living room so that the tv area is more cozy. i still have so much junk. if we ever buy a house, we're going to need more storage than living space. that's pretty sad.


anyhow, after jerms and john left, i decied to re-arrange my room. i flipped my entire room around. it took a lot of energy out of me. i'm drained. it looks nicer but since i have so much cheap stuff, my room still looks pretty ghetto. oh well. i guess it'll do.

also, as i was sorting through my socks, i found 6 un-paired socks!
how does that happen? six!

somehow i got it in my system that i really want to pick up another RPG game with my friends. I told my brother and jeremy about the idea and they seemed up for it. our other friend in austin, eric, seemed up for it as well. the only problem is that my brother and eric are experts at D&D so it wouldn't be good to use that one. Jeremy is our only hope for a good GameMaster so he wanted it to be something none of us knew. we also had this desire to chose one that wasn't just fantasy but also had a little sci-fi in it.
unfortunately, most of the people that play D&D are unwilling to play with us but i think we have enough people with the 4 of us.

so saturday, jeremy and i went out to Book People to research some RPGs. We picked up Shadowrun and it seemed kind of what we were looking for. Unfortunately they didn't have the handbook. We then went to go eat at Texadelphia where Jerms got a Philly Cheesesteak and I got a Smoked Turkey sammich. Mmm.. We tried Barnes and Nobles too but they only had DnD stuff.

Later, our friend Eric called us to go see Minority Report for the Matinee showing. We didn't have enough time so we decided to go eat some yummy itallian food from my fav. resteraunt called Vinny's. I was getting realy restless about finding an RPG game to play so we headed out to Dobie Mall (where i get my smoothies every day near campus) to see if their comic book store had anything. nope. they were closed. i got a small smoothie though so it wasn't a totally futile trip. :)

Dobie is also a huge ass private dormitory. We went to their main desk and asked for a phone book. The guy seemed annoyed but let us borrow his phone book. We called up a few comic book stores and found one that had the Shadowrun series.
woohoo.. we were on our way.

When we got there, we discovered that they didn't have the handbook that we needed...so we started looking at other games that they had. They had a game called Fading Suns that looked pretty interesting. We were about to buy the books but decided to call my brother up first to see if he had any objections. He said he didn't know anything about it but that we shouldn't buy the books cuz the pdf formats were available online. He seemed pissed that we were actually going to purchase the books. Money always makes people act very differently. Anyhow, we abandoned the idea of buying the books and decided to go back to my place to see if we could find anything online.

we got home and found my brother playing Neverwinter nights on my computer. Of course that looked intriguing.... but after he left to go out, we started looking up Fading Suns. There wasn't much out there on it..but Shadowrun had plenty of stuff.
While we were waiting for da stuff to download, we all went downstairs to watch Ghost in the Shell. :) how apporiate.


around 11 or so, jeremy started reading us the hand book from my monitor. we learned about ths history, classes, races, gear, game play, etc... everything. it took us till almost 3am to get done with all the reading.

i'm all pumped to get my character started up. i have to come up with a history, research the character class and race as well as available lifestyles, gear, and cybernetic wear.

i don't know if i'm supposed to be too old to want to play these RPG games anymore. i don't know if i really care. i'm just excited to be doing something i like.

i was reading an old friend's journal today. he was going on and on about how he was doing this and met this person here and there. AND i realize that is how i had pictured my grad school experience before i came to UT. I thought i'd be out there socialzing, making new friends..learning. experiencing.

it didn't turn out that way...mostly because of my nature. i don't know exactly all the things that make me the way i am. i just know that i a have a very hard time making friends. once upon a time, in the fifth grade, i went home every day and cried because i had ZERO friends. My mom was upset by this and told the teacher. the teacher pulled aside 3 girls in my class and told them that i didn't have any friends and that they should try to be my friend. "my so called friends" eventually told me about it months later and i was furious wih my mother. how embarrassing.

anyhow, i just wish i could be a better social butterfly.

i finally watched sexy beast tonight. it was all right. i couldn't understand what they were saying at first...but i got the general idea of what was going down. i guess i expected more from the film. the acting was great, drama was good, but the overall movie plot left me thinking "so what"....

my allergies are acting up. i prolly should go take some medication. today, i took a doze downstairs while watching a special on tornadoes. when i woke up, tigger was laying next to me all cuddly. it was cute. then i was mad at myself for not flipping back to the cooking channel in time to watch the lady make a sundae. i love watching them make deserts on tv. i don't know why. mmmlicious.

well i got my paper done finally. i'm not really all that tired yet. i feel like playing a game..but i dunno what.

i did another wall paper..this one was for jeremy.

breakfast delight.

special k red berries

mmmm

i found something to do.
i created a wallpaper for my desktop with a kitty theme.
it was fun. i think i'm going to make more wallpapers.

click on the image to get the full image.

bored. still don't want to do my readings for my essay.
i've been suring the internet, trying to find something of interest or even something
to move me.
i started reviewing the links on my homepage and went to the spookyland website.

i noticed the new lenore comic is out. i think i'm going to wait for the comilation to come out. i also noticed that they have a webmovie strip on screenblast.com. it was cute.
a lenore comic strip come to life. it's under sci-fi.

i also visited the baby blues comic website. i contemplated on buying their new book but then remembered that i've got no money.

i saw two movies this weekend.
i rented black hawk down and sexy beast on Friday.
jeremy and i only got to watch black hawk down. I thought it was a really
great war movie complete with a competent director and good acting.

the other movie we saw was the bourne identity. this movie had a great actor and some really tight scenes but i agree with the critics on this one, the director and plot lost it somewhere halfway through the movie..but picked it up near the end. i would be interested in seeing a bourne identity two (which is in talks) now that they've got all the boring bs out of the way...and i hope they lose the chick. i don't understand why movies always need a whining chick for the superhero to have to carry around. it's an annoyance to feminists everywhere. why can't they have whining boys for men to drag around instead.

i still have to watch sexy beast sometime before Wednesday. if it's good, jerms and i will rent it again so he can watch it. we just ran out of time.

now it's Sunday, john and jerms are back in ft. worth and i'm alone. it's so depressing. i have to write my weekly essay by Tuesday for my urban politics class. i really wish i could drop the course. i don't have that much interest in it anymore.

i was just surfing through my lj friends homepages and i saw 's wishlist for her birthday coming up. she had marionettes listed. i thought that was so cool because ever since i saw sound of music when i was little, i've always wanted one..or to do a whole performance with them. i've seen some imitation one at renaissance festivals but they weren't the same thing.

tres cool.

woke up late today. ate a pbj sammich. watched some home improvement show about paint and colors. i'm doing laundry too. dessy has been hyper all day today. she keeps bringing me this shoe string for me to play with her.

i ventured into my room today to play on the computer. it is so hot. i don't think i can stand it! the insulation is so poor. i'm sweating to death and i have two fans going. even when the computer is off, it's hot. i don't know what to do. i even put up a black blanket over the window to block out the light.

i'm thristy too. i ran out of oj this morning. aaaah. nothing to drink.

i've been trying to write an essay due tomorrow for my urban politics class but dessy and tigger are acting up. i finally kicked tigger out of my room since he keep starting the fights. he's been so moody today. my room is so hot too.

i bought this toy cat figurine and i think dessy thinks it's a real animal because she keeps playing with it like it's a kitten or something. i just saw her walking with it in her mouth. she reminds me of my brother, they're both like duracel batteries..they keep going and going and going.

who's that kid with the oreo cookies.

man am i bored. the kitties are being fed right now. we had a snuggle fest earlier and took a nap on the futon while i watching some cute toonami cartoon with a hampster in it. i'd never seen it before but it looked cute.

i went out to the store and bought two cartons of oj and four bottles of vanilla coke for jeremy. he and john should be getting here in about an hour. i'm so lonely and bored with myself. i should be writing an essay but i can't bring myself to get motivated for it.

i guess i should clean my room. it's still a mess from all my unpacking and studio stuff.

i found a pretty okay site for recipes.
i'm still trying to figure out which desert i want to try.
http://www.101recipes.com/deserts.html

you wonder, after so many friends pass you by without looking back, am i that easy to forget? i've had so many friends, the best of, who have walked on without looking back. they move on and i do not. i weigh in my mind, i torture myself with thoughts of paranoia. it was all a game. there is no such thing as sincerity. or perhaps it is impossible to truly be sincere to me since i am not a real person. futility is one of my greatest fears. futilty of relationships. do we reallly walk on having gained nothing from them except for bitterness and distrust? maybe this is just my world. fairytales are like nightmares of abandonment with the godmother the keeper of our timed moments of happiness...it's just a matter of time.

first week in summer school is over. there's only four people in my class. it's basically like going to a 2 and a half hour board meeting every day. some parts of it are fun and some i really don't care for. i'm taking urban politics and we're going to go into issues of politics and the key players involved with city development. i know. very fun. i get to do an essay every week and i have a research project due at the end.

i'm by myself here in austin. john and jerms are still up in ft. worth. they'll be down this weekend though. it's weird living by myself. i haven't done that in a very long time... if ever. luckily, i have the kitties. they keep me company. i'm also venturing into some thai cooking. so far, it's not so bad. i'm also thinking about downloading some desert recipes and trying those..but who will eat my desert? dessy and tigger? nope. they can't eat sweets. maybe i'll give them to the bums out on the highway.
now to go search for a fun recipe.

i got up early today. there's something about me not being able to wake up until after
8am. 7:59am and I'll be groggy and grumpy. If it's 8:01am I'll be awake and chipper if i've gotten enough sleep of course. :) i don't know what it is. i have a feeling it relates back to my high school days of having to wake up so damn early. 8am was when school started.

I'm going back to Austin today. My vacation at Jerms is over. I'm in the middle of packing right now. I stopped for awhile to try and pump up my brother's air mattress. It's deflated. I couldn't get it stiff enough, it still sags. I'll see what Jeremy can do about it.
Poor John has to sleep on a deflated mattress. I wish I had the money to buy one of those automatic inflatable matresses.

swooosh!

we went to blimpie's for lunch today. i haven't done too much of anything this afternoon. i munched on some Oh's and drank some oj from my favorite oreo mug. i also watched some sex and the city with the director's comments turned on. i'm also still doing laundry. damn, if this day gets anymore exciting I might have a stroke.
;)

i've been fairly productive on my first monday back to working at home. i did some took care of some laundry, straightened the living room out, did the dishes, made the bed,
did some exercises, took a shower, and am now seeing if there is any paid work for me to do at the office. i doubt it.

here's an interesting site about the new WTC proposals.
NEW WTC DESIGNS

Here's my summer movie list. I need to watch these in the summer
because they are movies no one else will probably want to watch with me...not
anyone I know anyhow...any suggestions? deletions?...additions?

Strictly Ballroom
Blue Velvet
Lost Highway
amelie
Queer as folk, the first season
A Clockwork Orange
Full Metal Jacket
Fargo
Doctor Zhivago
Rugrats movie
Rugrats in Paris
Sexy Beast
Pi
Boogie Nights
The Night POrter
Gia
Catch-22
The Crying Game
my life to live
Gummo
Slackers

i woke up around 11 today. my brother and jeremy played morrowind till the afternoon. i worked on updating on the galleries in my website. we had ryan's for lunch. we then went to best buy so john could look for some ear phones. i've decided i want a keyboard so i can try to compose some music. i doubt i'll be able to afford the one i want till much later. we stopped by barnes and nobles to take a look around. i didn't see anything i wanted to read. while we were in the sci-fi section i started looking through the rpg books. i've decided that i really want to start up another rpg game. i can't find enough people to do it though. i guess i should have enjoyed my youth more.
it sucks being a grown up.



on our way back home, jerms and i got smoothies from jamba juice. now john and jerms are back to playing morrowind and i'm uploading pics to my site. i'm about to compile a list of movies i want to watch this summer.

we went to another park today. this one has a pond with geese and turtles in it. we played frisbee again. i really suck at it. i keep trying to throw to people but the darn thing just flies off into crazy directions. i know the game is supposed to be relatively easy but man.. i just don't do well with it.

i think dessy enjoyed her bday today. i even let her in the computer room for a few brief minutes.


my brother is playing warcraft III and jeremy is playing Morrowind. I don't know what I want to play. I might do some Dungeon Siege...or I might finish watching Just Visiting. It seemed kinda stupid so I stopped watching it the other night.

it's morning.. well actually afternoon. jeremy and i are trying to wake up my brother, john, so we can go out to eat. we're going to tu hai..some asian restaurant in downtown ft. worth. our plans were to go see a movie but there's nothing really good out right now. the only thing i'd be vaguely interested in seeing is The Sum of All Fears. I'm going to wait for one of my LJ friends to do a review on it. hehehe.

okie doke. still not much to report. i started a story at work about dessy and her adventures with a magical mouse. you can read it if you want. it's a children's story so far.



it was a cold winter's night. dessy and tigger were curled into little balls on the queen size bed in the middle of the room. mommy and daddy were not yet home from their outdoors adventure. dessy opened up one of her eyes and glimpsed around the room. she spotted tigger stretched out on the middle of the bed, his head propped up on a pillow. she got up slowly and stretched her self out with a great big yawn. tigger gave no notice of her movements. she licked a little spot of smudge off her coat and slowly sauntered over towards tigger. she licked his ears and then plopped herself down next to him. against, tigger's warm coat, she dozed off into sleepyland for another hour until she heard a noise coming from under the bed.

dessy arose slowly.
"is there anyone there?" she whelped.
"rattle rattle," came a noise from under the bed
"tigger," dessy whispered, "are you awake?"
tigger stirred slightly and groaned, "leave me alone."

dessy, being the curious cat that she is, made her way slowly to the edge of the bed.
she gently climbed down to the floor without make a peep.
she poked her head under the bed.
she saw something move slightly and then stiffen.
dessy crept down low to the ground and glared with intent.
the thing made a dash for the door and dessy pounced after it.

it hurdled down the stairs with dessy on its tail.
with one final pounce she landed on top of the mysterious noise maker.
"get off! get off!" a tiny voice shouted!

dessy lifted one paw while keeping the other on it tightly.
underneath her, squirming like a rat was a tiny mouse!
"a toy!" she exclaimed and proceeded to toss the mouse between her paws.
"sto-o-o-p!" yelled the mouse, "pl-e-e-a-s-e!"

dessy poked her nose into the mouse smelling it closely.
"my toys usually don't make noises like this. what kind of toy are you?" she asked
"i'm not a toy! "exclaimed the mouse.
"then what are you?" dessy yelped with curiosity.
"i'm a mouse!" cried the little one.
"i know you're a mouse. what kind of toy mouse are you?"
"no, i'm not a toy, i'm a real mouse and you must let me go!"
"but i'm not done playing," cried dessy.
"please, i beg you. you must let me go. i will show you very fun things
if you let me go."
dessy peered closely at her talking toy. she thought it odd that this toy
was able to talk and she was very interested in seeing the fun things the mouse
spoke about. she slowly pulled her paw off the mouse. it leaped up and shook itself
of loose fir.
"aah, that's much better." sighed the mouse, "now where was i?"
"don't forget, you are going to show me fun things." dessy reminded.
"come with me." the mouse hurried up the stairs.
"wait for me!" dessy leaped up after him.

with one quick dash, they both disappeared into the darkness under the bed. tigger
arose slowly making a gaze around the room. he yawned and plopped himself down onto the bed. he rested his head on his paws and gave out a sigh. dessy had gone off again. he had no intention of moving from his spot to find out where she was. he wasn't that curious of a cat. ....to be continued.