must sleep now!

yeesh it's late. just finished doing my studio assignment.
guh. how does the day end?

back in the saddle again

i haven't woken up at 6:30am since the dawn of time. I have an 8amer on Tuesdays and Thursdays...it's annoying. i ran around and did a lot of errands. i have this huge gap from 9:20-12:30 on Thursdays. I had to go get some paper for my first studio project due tomorrow. I also had to trek across campus to get my parking pass and return some overdue library books. i ended up eating a salad a "field of greens" for lunch. i'm super thirsty right now. i think i'll take a trip to the water fountain or something.

there's a agnostic and atheist student group i found. i've been searching for them for the past year. apparently they are new but they meet at a time i can't so it's pointless. oh well. they weren't very friendly.

i've been bombarded with fliers and offers for free newspapers, bibles, and party invitations. the first week is always like a circus. i'm a little tired now and i still have an hour to wait for my next class. i think i shall go home and take a nap before doing the list of things i need to do today.

there are too many variations to consider

when did life get so complicated? when did living an honest life mean living your life in half-truths? how much of us that we interface with the world is real. in my own case, i know most of it is superficial. when did living in a social world get to be so political. we can never really say what we mean without outcasting ourselves from social favor. why does living with you and you mean creating a false sense of reality? we are lies, our makeup and bodies in the physical form of chatter and dance equals a balance of hatred, love, and lies. we make these investments because we don't know what truth is or we blind ourselves with love in order to hide the truth. the truth is that it's all a game. we're all just building bridges with our fake bricks hoping to make it across the ocean of society. i hope the waves one day crash upon us and we're all shaken to the truth that beauty is a lie...and all that is horrid is our only grasp on reality. take it.. just take it.

that's all folks

boy it rained hard again today. i had a dream about a really old friend of mine. he's such an adult though that i dreamt of him as a father figure of some sort. he was trying to help me find out where to return my library books. weird.

anyhow, i went to go visit jeremy's parents today while i was in town. i also made video of rita's (jerms' sister) graduation pictures. they're really good folks and fun to talk to. they were telling about the garden they plan to plant this fall. they even had to buy a new upright freezer to store all of their vegetables that they grew. amazing. i can't grow anything. i had this basil plant a year ago that tanked under jeremy's care..but i'm sure i would have killed it had i stayed in ft. worth as well.

i just got through paying bills and making a compilation cd for me to listen to on the way back to austin today. we have a long drive ahead of us and i'm sleepy already. i need to pack up my gear and get ready to move out. my dad likes everything to be pre-planned and super prepared. he'll ge fussy if we don't have everything ready to go by the time he gets home.

i shall gather all of my things now...and also throw in a few "found" items around the house that i may need. my father gave me a lifetime supply of conditoner and body wash stuff. he buys stuff at really great values. i don't have the patience to cut coupons and wait for sales... perhaps i should change my ways.

:)

it was the wind, i say!

i just went jogging with my father this evening. actually, i didn't do any jogging. i went with him on my bike. hehehe. oddly enough..or i should say shamefully, he beat me running. i say it was the wind. it was the wind, i say!
speaking of wind, it was crazy windy outside. the sky was dark blue and and the leaves were swirling furiously. after we finished a lap around the neighborhood, it started plopping down fat gushy raindrops. gawd, i miss bike riding. i forgot how much fun it is. it's too bad i haven't lived in a good neighborhood for biking since i left boremont.

apparently the light glitched at our house and my computer fritzed out. i thought i lost everything. quite a scare. my mom was yelling at me for leaving it on.. how was i to know the storm would catch up with us so quick. anyhow, now i smell like outdoors. guck. i forgot how gross it smells.

time to watch the rain with my kitties.

acid burn

ever since i saw the movie hackers, i've been trying to aquire a song i heard. it's the song playing when kate was standing outside on the balcony at her party. i went out and bought the soundtrack as soon as it came out to get that song. unfortunately, the song wasn't on it nor was it on the second soundtrack they released. my brother heard it playing on some obscure radio station once. he was able to tape half of it on a cassette. that was the closest i ever got to getting the song. so anyhow, it's been close to like six years and i've finally found the darn song. a friend of mine said he has the remix of the song but he also had the original. i just got it from him today. now i'm going to listen to it till i hate it.

music makes the world go round

Music has always been a very important element in our house. My mother and I did some dancing in the kitchen yesterday to some old eighties toon. I can't even remember what it was. hehehehe. Anyhow, sometimes I get hooked on one song for a very long time or a series of songs. At one point in time, I was obsessed with new age music and was constantly playing some Nervada songs on the stereo. I remember my mom commenting on the depressing nature of my choice of music. She said she felt like she was constantly at some funeral home. :D I also notice how my choice in old music correlates strongly with the music my father played a lot when we were children. We even have the thriller album from the eighties. John and I used to dance to it on lazy Sunday afternoons when he was like 2 and I was 7. There's still plenty of music in our house..always when we're eating and doing chores..etc. I always feel more alone when there isn't music on... it's like an invisible shell..sometimes defining me, sometimes protecting me, sometimes representing who i am..and other times, it's just there.