Weekend vs Futility

we got a group together and started on some characer creations for the Shadowrun RPG we want to play. i spent forever going through everything i needed, carefully sorting through the pages of skills, gear, and attributes.

of course, after a few mock battles between varying members of our group, we discovered that shadowrun has a very uneven combat play. i feel that the combat play is actually very realistic however, it makes our characters highly prone to death...and no one wants to have to start a new character every other week.

i don't know. i still feel like its worth trying. i'm actually not into the "rolling" aspect of the game as i am the "role playing"... i think shadowrun offers a very complex setting for role playing.

anyhoo...we decided that we might give it a shot otherwise we'll move to D&D Edition 3. The best laid plans are damned.

and i hate futility. i've spent so much time on my character that it seems such a shame that i have to drop it. i even created an elaborate history which i'll post later. ah well.

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i've been working on my paper all day long with varying success. i took a nap and dreamt of all the things i have to do before the next two weeks are up. of course, as i dreamt, my goals were exagerated and stretched to impossiblities. when i woke up, it made everything i worry about seem trivial.
....life is subjective like that.

i'm going to try and finish up my paper now before my confidence drops back down.