bound

fever that folds down
the curves of her spine
bending like satin
on waves of sahara sands
dripping downwards
in depths of concave
curves pressing
up to lines curling
under the crisp white
sheet leaving dusts
of graphite swirls
sliding over
masking the
plunder of my will


bound by untouched
dreams which catch
on memory ends
deaths of sounds unheard
burning from feelings of
hatred yet to surface
from yearnings that
have not yet begun

well it really sucks not having my computer. I haven't been able to update my website at all..and I can't do anything because there's no software installed on this machine..(it was basically acting as a webcam server for me)..
Jeremy is going to give me his computer this weekend. He's upgrading to a better pc.. next week. I'll actually have a decent computer finally...one that my brother will appreciate.
Mwahahahaha.. okay. i'm being dorky.

I'm so hungry right now.

Menu for dinner:
White Jasmine Rice
Steamed Duck with my mom's special soy bean sauce
Cucumbers on the side
Fish?
Fried Chinese Cabbage.

All dishes except for the rice are compliments of my mom and tupperware. :)

well the pc verdict is that my motherboard is fried.
how lovely. so now i'm using my second computer.
hopefully it can tie me over till i get a new motherboard
and cpu.

deadline is closing in... wednesday is final review.
it's 3am. i got a good chunk of the work done.

:P

doop doop doop
i'm working in studio. going to be a long night i think.
tired..depressed. that's life
i wonder what my kitties are up to.

my computer broke down this morning. no power. hmmm.

headphones back on.
*cracK*

back to work.

tired.. this weekend we formatted my computer.. actually my brother and jeremy did. i
was trying to upgrade my computer but the motherboard we were using wasn't working.
i might be upgrading later. re-installing all my software was a lot of fun. :)
stuff to re-install

autocad2000
adobe 6.0
adobe acrobat
audiogalaxy satellite
dceenhancer
diablo2
printer hp desktop 930c series
homeconnect usb camera
icq
iomega
jasc software
kodak
live journal
cuteftp
maxis sims
macromedia flash
dreamweaver
ms office
ms frontpage
outlook express
eudora
quicktime
realaudio
sausage hotdog 6
webcam32 surveyor corporation
teveo
winamp
netscape
favorites

jeremy bought me pet shop of horrors.. woohoo.. i've been wanting that dvd for quite some time. i watched two episodes tonight.

well i'm down here in the dungeons slaving away on the computers.
i think all my classmates have gone a-wall.
dunno ..i think i'm the last of them down here. i guess it is almost end of class.
i just want to get as much done this weekend. i have a final review on wednesday.
i'm already stressing.

i have a huge gallon of mr. pibb next to me..hehehe

jeremy should be rolling in soon... maybe in an hour or two.

it's another late night.
i stayed at school till 11 or so working.. kinda proud that i resisted the temptation
to go home. anyhow..boring.
gonna go to bed now.

in other news, dessy was laying on tigger so much she got tigger hairs all over nose.
hehehe.

it's 5am. what am i doing up?? well i crashed from 12 to 2..

then i woke up and started working on my drawing assignments. i have to do these one, three, and five minute study of drawings. I basically have to sketch out the drawing in those intervals. fun stuff trying to do in the wee hours of the morning. john had his friends over pretty late.. till 3 or 4am.. not sure. i could hear them all talking from my room.




study of the ciragan palace, an instanbul hotel


stretching because my back hurts so bad.



this week has been really bad as far as sleep has gone. i haven't been able to sleep with the lights off yet. tonight, or i should say morning, i'll get that chance.. if the sun isn't already making its way up.

night.. or good morning.

today, February 20, 2002 at 8:02pm will be the last time the dates and time will read symmetrically.
20/02, 2002, 20:02

i decided not to stay up.. i couldn't.
i took a shower, did my paid, work and set the alarm for an hour doze. i didn't wake up till 2 and a half hours later. i woke up..had another weirdo dream...something to do with snow white and the seven dwarves and long curly finger nails. :P
anyhow.. i got to school around 9:45am..and started working on doing some renderings for the pin up we have this afternoon. the first group of people to pin up are in there now.
i'm just chilling in the studio till it's my turn. i'm kind of nervous.
lunch for today was: tuna sandwich with megga portions of lettuce, sour cream and onion chips, and the dr. pepper i was drinking earlier this morning. i'm having some gum for desert.

:P

i'm so tired. it's another one of those nights.
i think i've done all i can for tonight. i need to wake up early early tommorrow
and head to school. i wish i was within walking distance..so i could just go to and fro whenever i needed.... so going to school wasn't a journey..but a walk.
maybe i should just stay up. i wonder if my body could take it.

woah. i just woke up from a crazy dream. i took a nap this evening because i have mad work to do tonight..and i was running low on gas...big time. i almost fell alseep walking to the condo.

but anyhow.. in my dream, jeremy and i were traveling to thailand. he made this comment about how fake everything was...and commercialized. I was like "yeah, but just think about what it must be like for these people who have never been here..all the color and exotic foods..etc"...

You have to visualize this totally bizzared-out version of Thailand..if you know what it looks like. ALL of the temples and market places were crammed into one square and people were throwing flowers and fruits in the air. There were lights, candles, and lanterns everywhere. Some people were getting rides on these Thai mats. Don't ask me how they were being pulled..I just know they were.

We thought it was lame until we heard these peolple on the mats screaming and hooting. It turns out the mats can take off onto the highways in something of a rollercoaster fashion. We decided to try it. We got on one and sure enough we were rolling all over a very narrow rollercoaster slide.

Then for some reason the mat turned into a canoe! we were now in water. we saw lots and lots of people in the water playing around and we were just coasting. we took a turn and then bam! all the sudden we saw a bunch of people standing next to a huge water fall. They were all trying to hold onto the trees along the bank.

As Jeremy and I rounded the waterfall, we both grabbed onto the trees and hurled the canoe over our backs and pulled ourselves up. Hehehe. I guess we had super human strength. Wow..what a rush. The waterfall was cool. Glad we didn't go over..I prolly would have woken up on the floor. :)

i'm dreaming or living in a muffled memory. sometimes i jot things down while i'm not paying attention to myself.. i go back and try to figure out if it was i who wrote it down in the first place.. or was i mocking something? i don't know. the mind is truly the last fascinating facet of humanity.

"we are the raving writing
on the creamy smooth texture
of the artist who sees the
world in dissillusion where
realities are clear and missed.
we are driving ourselves into
the maddness of order, why wreckage
ourselves to the deportment of
decadence? are we not who we are not
in the presence of what we are?"

i'm so lonely, tired, and depressed tonight. another bout no doubt. it shall pass.
i think this whole experience is good for me. it's made me realize how much i wasted on "daily livings".. i envy most of the people i know online..they've all got jobs and that pretty much means..after hours belong to them....as well as weekends. and they create such fine and beautiful things...words, ideas, poetry, art, photography...
i have barely the time to remember my name.. and when this has passed.. i shall miss the intensity of it all...

that is who i am.. eternally ungrateful..eternally unhappy with who and what i am.

software indoctrination is like getting a complete high or rush.
i know. i'm such a geek. this is the kind of elation i remember feeling whenever i completed
a computer program back in the day. I wonder if that's how Jeremy feels when he finishes a part of his code.

I'm finally getting the hang of form-z. it's a real pain in the arse..but not too bad.
you definitely have to have a stable computer to run it.. i tried running it on the pII here..and it just about ate everything.

I've got a meeting around 6 with my site design group. i wonder where we're going to eat today. I actually remembered to do the readings today. yeah.

okay.. nothing much more to report.
it smells like food in here and that is making me hunry. it smells like pot roast.
mmmmm... hmmm. i guess not so mmmmm..since i'm in a computer lab located at the basement of a building. :P

didn't go to bed till late again. basically i'm falling behind in all my classes.. actually i'm holding on by the tips of my fingers...just taking it one day at a time.

nothing too exciting is going on. i went to return videos just now. i hopped over to the albertsons next door to blockbuster and got some toilet paper and orange juice. woohoo.

-buy box for kuzy's gift
-clean out litter
-buy litter
-buy tigger food
-take out dishes
-put dishes in
-clean kitchen tile
-vacuum
-take pics of big buildings for scale reference
-take pics of the site
-do paid work
-do studio work in form z FOR REAL!
-call john: bring ethernet cable, mouse, and alarm clock
-unload arch desk from car
-do drawing clinic exercises
-take out trash
-watch ghost world
-do site design reading

well to , I actually didn't like Ghost World all that much. I rented the movie because and anhedonia raved about it so much..so I was rather suprised when it fell short of my expectations. It was a little too slow developing for my taste and the plot seemed way too morose..even for me. it just kept pressing this issue of how much life sucks. I agree that the other characters should have been developed more. Josh and Rebecca kind of got lost midway through the show. The beauty of the movie is the character development of Enid and Seymour. Those two characters make and break the show. Steve Bushemi is yet again..the stereotypical American badass weirdo. He's my hero too. I love eccentric sociophobic character types. Thora Birch plays Enid..the self righteous bitch who kind of reminds me of the worst in me. Watching her pathetic plays at making others wallow in her misery..really made me want to kill myself. I'm not sure if I wanted to slap her or cuddle her..because she's so LOST.. awesome clothes though. I guess I just don't understand how she's finally resolved in following her artistic heart..when i never got what her artistic vision is..

Pros: Style, whitty sarcasm, art, sketching, obsessive compulsive behavior, pessimism
Cons: Whining, Bitching, lack of intrigue, lack of other characters development

Of course.. for some odd reason I thought this movie was going to be a murder mystery.. then after reading the back of the box..i was expecting a comedy..and ended up getting a drama with dark comic overtones.. how did i get off on such a wrong start???!

did i miss something here?

holy crap. we woke up late today. it's already 1:23pm. that sucks.
here's the list of stuff i have to do for today. i somehow i doubt it will all get done.

-buy box for kuzy's gift
-clean out litter
-buy litter
-buy tigger food
-take out dishes
-put dishes in
-clean kitchen tile
-vacuum
-take pics of big buildings for scale reference
-take pics of the site
-do paid work
-do studio work in form z FOR REAL!
-call john: bring ethernet cable, mouse, and alarm clock
-unload arch desk from car
-do drawing clinic exercises
-take out trash
-watch ghost world
-do site design reading

i woke up this morning...did some school work. we went to Fry's to look for a hard drive. i found pet shop of horrors on dvd but it was too expensive. we ate at Jason's Deli for lunch and then rented two movies from blockbuster: American Pie 2 and Ghost World.
We watched AP2 this afternoon..it had a few funny/embarrassing scenes but overall it was a pretty dumb movie. I was expecting it to be.. Matilda came on tv after that so we started watching it.. it was a pretty interesting flick.. you'd think it would be a kid flick..but it was way too cynical and dark for children in my opinion..which is why i seemed to like it. A friend called us up to see if we wanted to go eat this evening.. we all went out to a place called ThreadGills.. it kinda sucked hard. The food wasn't worth the money we paid for..we got bad seats..and really really bad service. The waitress was so blank.. i think we would have had to remind her that we came there to eat if it weren't for the fact that we were sitting IN the aisle infront of the kicthen :(
we went back to another friends "house" (he's in this business sort of fraternity)..and watched Snatch.. I liked it but it wasn't as bloody as Lock Stock and...etc..
still entertaining. When we got home, I started working on paid work..and I think I'm about to call it a night now. I'm really tired and Jerms is already asleep.



good night.

i feel so lethargic.
i didn't want to get up this morning at all. i'm staring to wander back into my night routine. i think this will be the last semester i take this many hours. i'm really hurting.
i have to decide where my priorities are today. i have paid work, school work, and house work that has to be done. i'm not sure where to start. i'm thinking i might head to school soon. i have stuff due today. :(
well.. i know i had an interesting dream last night. i just can't remember what it was.
i wrote an email to a friend the other day saying that vday was about candy..half joking/half serious.. he said that vday can't be about candy cuz you can get candy any day of the week... but that's how i feel about showing you care to someone. you have equal opportunity to show you care any day of the week... oh well.

my anti-vday proposal comment to 's lj yesterday:

tis true. valentines is still something worth celebrating if you find some meaning to it.
i love to give candy (hence i also like halloween)..i like to make concoctions of joy..etc..
however, the reason vday is one my least favorite holidays is because of the commercialised, systematic romanticsm. however, i don't protest valentines for everyone.. just for myself. i don't like to single out specific annual days to profess love, devotion..etc.. (including anniversaries). i like my partner to think.. not to ritually buy me flowers and a box of chocolates.. i'd rather us both go to the store and pick out the best assortment of candies together..and then go home and binge.. that has more meaning to me.
i'm a little unnerved about the "love" litmus test that goes on today. "look at my boyfriend, he got me two boques of flowers"..or "oh isn't he sweet, he got me a teddy bear..and it happens to be bigger than yours" ...it's almost like a sport..and damn race to the finish line in most cases. i just want to say to all those people who freak out over this holiday.. don't sweat it.. just enjoy being with your friends, family, or loved one.. etc.. just like you were saying. it's a holiday.. you can celebrate it or not. today is like tomorrow...another opportunity... the label is just a suggestion..

pewweeee. i just got out of class and man..there was someone in there than sttttaaaank!
i'm really dreading my next class. i'm always so tempted to just skip it.. one of those pull out your hair, teeth pulling classes.. it's so boring...subject is interesting.. but the class in mostly boring...

i'm about to go eat an orange for lunch. :)


i was up last night till 4am working on photography/photoshop. it was very addictive. nice to be back in creation mode again.

i let jeremy see two of them and he censored me. he doesn't want me to put up one of them because it's a half nude.
i really envy a lot of poeples sites..the ones that aren't restricted..they really show true value and conviction...of course.. i'm sure i'd never hear the end of it if my dad saw some "inappropriate" picture of me on the internet.

censorship sucks
my dad, my brother, and jeremy = THE MAN

okay. i finished cleaning my room. i went to the grocery store and bought myself some fruit and hair spray. i needed the hairspray to spray my charcoal drawings so they stop getting charcoal everywhere. Aquanet! hehehe cheap extra super hold strength.
i remember owning some of that stuff in the 80s. one of my friends bought it for me for my bday cuz my parents wouldn't buy it for me and i always used hers. :) hehehe. how times change. while i was at the grocery store i decided to make a valentine package for one of my classmates children (he's got four). I remember when i was young, our neighbor always made us these packages for halloween, christmas, valentines, and easter... i always thought she was the coolest. hehehe. now i get to be the cool one. :)
i got them a watercoloring book (comes with watercolors), a pull back toy car, some lollypop rings, snicker hearts, and chocolate candy. It only cost me like 5 bucks.
i feel so grown up. hehehe... just seems like yesterday when i was expecting such a treat for myself.

the cycle has ended i think. i might actually get some sleep now. the next cycle begins Monday prolly. I always have these cycles of work that really bog me down... it's like i'm suffoating for two weeks..and then i get a few days to breathe.. (gulps air)

i think i'm about to clean up my room. it's been sitting in dissarray for the past 6 weeks...
i'm also kind of thirsty. i wouldn't mind a Route 44 Cherry Limeade from Sonic.

oscar wilde

i've gone brain dead. my mind has wondered to much more interesting things than the impact of domain and range of the Palmer Auditorium in Austin, Texas. :P

I started reading up on Oscar Wilde. I had no idea what fascinating and individualistic creatures can come from such times. Homosexuality is such a fascinating aspect of humanity. What is it to love without bearing of sex? It is not your sex that i love but that you are worth the loving... that there is a great compelling nature to multiple beings..that they are drawn for whatever reason to irrational emotions of relationships. I think that is the greatest statement of homosexuality because heterosexuality has too long been the norm.. that it is rather systematic and lacks conviction of emotion.. and so romeo favored the fair juliet. yes .. we all know. it's a ritual. its the parody of every major motion picture romance. there needs to be something to transgress the system.. (not implying homosexuality as a new concept).. to set in the minds eye that relationships are not standards but desired. i think those that are homophobic are missing out on a great revolution in humanity...the ability to recognize the difference between "should" and "longing".. man to man or woman to woman.. its the defiance of everything natural..and natural i mean as the accepted standard of procreation.. all for desire and love! How bold! To look humanity in the face and say "fuck you! i love! I need! i want!".. there is a beauty to such decadence... and in doing so.. you change humanity (in my opinion for the best). so if you cringe at the site of two men or two women kissing..ask yourself why you don't cringe when you see a man and a woman kissing? perhaps it is because you can't stand the thought of two beings defying your moral righteousness ...all for ..simply their desires?? could you ever be so bold in your love or you wantings? no. not even close.

"Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life of the intellect--simply a confession of failures." -O.W.

A very beautiful poem written by one of Wilde's lovers, Lord Alfred Douglas:

Two Loves
Reprinted from The Chameleon, December 1894. See highlighted lines.

I dreamed I stood upon a little hill,
And at my feet there lay a ground, that seemed
Like a waste garden, flowering at its will
With buds and blossoms. There were pools that dreamed
Black and unruffled; there were white lilies
A few, and crocuses, and violets
Purple or pale, snake-like fritillaries
Scarce seen for the rank grass, and through green nets
Blue eyes of shy peryenche winked in the sun.
And there were curious flowers, before unknown,
Flowers that were stained with moonlight, or with shades
Of Nature's willful moods; and here a one
That had drunk in the transitory tone
Of one brief moment in a sunset; blades
Of grass that in an hundred springs had been
Slowly but exquisitely nurtured by the stars,
And watered with the scented dew long cupped
In lilies, that for rays of sun had seen
Only God's glory, for never a sunrise mars
The luminous air of Heaven. Beyond, abrupt,
A grey stone wall. o'ergrown with velvet moss
Uprose; and gazing I stood long, all mazed
To see a place so strange, so sweet, so fair.
And as I stood and marvelled, lo! across
The garden came a youth; one hand he raised
To shield him from the sun, his wind-tossed hair
Was twined with flowers, and in his hand he bore
A purple bunch of bursting grapes, his eyes
Were clear as crystal, naked all was he,
White as the snow on pathless mountains frore,
Red were his lips as red wine-spilith that dyes
A marble floor, his brow chalcedony.
And he came near me, with his lips uncurled
And kind, and caught my hand and kissed my mouth,
And gave me grapes to eat, and said, 'Sweet friend,
Come I will show thee shadows of the world
And images of life. See from the South
Comes the pale pageant that hath never an end.'
And lo! within the garden of my dream
I saw two walking on a shining plain
Of golden light. The one did joyous seem
And fair and blooming, and a sweet refrain
Came from his lips; he sang of pretty maids
And joyous love of comely girl and boy,
His eyes were bright, and 'mid the dancing blades
Of golden grass his feet did trip for joy;
And in his hand he held an ivory lute
With strings of gold that were as maidens' hair,
And sang with voice as tuneful as a flute,
And round his neck three chains of roses were.
But he that was his comrade walked aside;
He was full sad and sweet, and his large eyes
Were strange with wondrous brightness, staring wide
With gazing; and he sighed with many sighs
That moved me, and his cheeks were wan and white
Like pallid lilies, and his lips were red
Like poppies, and his hands he clenched tight,
And yet again unclenched, and his head
Was wreathed with moon-flowers pale as lips of death.
A purple robe he wore, o'erwrought in gold
With the device of a great snake, whose breath
Was fiery flame: which when I did behold
I fell a-weeping, and I cried, 'Sweet youth,
Tell me why, sad and sighing, thou dost rove
These pleasent realms? I pray thee speak me sooth
What is thy name?' He said, 'My name is Love.'
Then straight the first did turn himself to me
And cried, 'He lieth, for his name is Shame,
But I am Love, and I was wont to be
Alone in this fair garden, till he came
Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill
The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.'
Then sighing, said the other, 'Have thy will,
I am the love that dare not speak its name.'

this poem was deemed unacceptable in its day.

i never did say but i finished margaret's (former lj user ) novel a few days ago. it was really good. i have to admit that the ending was quite profound.. you are left feeling as closed to the world as the character is...it's like you're sucked into a life so entrenched in richness and then bam.. the door closes and your left with nothing. i don't know if it was intentional or not.. I'm pretty upset that she's given up live journal.. good lj-ers are hard to come by.. i've been searching for more people to add to my friends list..but i haven't found anyone that i'm interested in.. i guess my selective list will have to do for now.

i'm about to get started on finishing up a paper i have due tomorrow. it's going to be another late night.

i forgot to do my readings for discussion group this evening.
doh!

i went to ft. worth this weekend to go pick up my car..it is finally repaired. yeah.
however, i once again got nothing done and am short on time. i'm going to be up late tonight and tomorrow night. this is so not fun. i'm about to hit the hey though..i have to wake up at 7 something tomorrow morning and head off to studio to model some stuff.
i've been working on basic design problems all night and its giving me a headache.
i wish you could see this facial expression of one of my pooh faces (on my hot chocolate mug). it's supposed to be pooh "scared"..but it looks like pooh "horrified."
yes..that's me.. horrified.



okay. i'm off to bed. i sure as heck hope i wake up in time tomorrow.
please..

sometimes i feel really bad about being who i am.

"i love you"

"kay"

it's a crippling thing not to be able to fall in love..but rather just accept it as if it
were another scheduled event in life. it's just another thing. chose love or chose nothing. chose conformity or chose death. i fell out of love for good in highschool..when the last of my dreams of something "greater" came to a complete hault. love and committment.. ba humbug.. trust and companionship, sincerity and devotion.. those are much more realistic and acceptable terms for me.

whisper not that love is your life
but life is your love...

or

in living we find suffering in daily chorse of wretched course
so in wait for some end to the trivial passings of our times
you can find a friend or you can go alone.
that's life and its morbid sense of companionship.

i just got back from a really great lecture on Decadence.
The lecturer, Dr. Elizabeth Richmond-Garza, was phenomenal.. not only was
the subject enthralling..but her presentation was equally engaging.. she used multimedia visuals...clips from the Moulin Rouge, Trainspotting, Velvet Goldmine, and NIN perfect drug video.. and she read poetry and readings from several writers on decadence. she's an absolutely fascinating personality. i have never been so taken with a professor before. I wish I could take a class from her.

I wanted to ask her few questions after the lecture but she was surrounded by people and i had to get to the bus stop. I wanted to know if there can ever be a death of decadence.. can we go so far as to exploit every essense of being? can we exceed our capacity for countering the systematics of living? how long will there be that quest for new sensations? i also wanted to know that as the cycle of decadence continues (death wwI..death wwII, death 9/11) does the perception of what is decadent decrease exponetially? can decadence be measured and if so how..and with what scale?

information about Dr. Richmond-Garza

she dressed in goth to this lecture.. i wonder if she always dresses that way? she did call herself a prop. i think it is so fascinating that a child of academia can be so in tune with a world outside of the refined.. i guess i've been living in texas for too long.

i was in and out of consiousness all night long.. i only wrote half a page for my paper...looks like tomorrow will be when it is finished. :( i'm going to try and work on it at school today.. we'll see how this works out.
i was just so tired.. i couldn't quite think..and i couldn't quite sit up right.
the words in the book kept merging ..it was all surreal.


damn..even now my eyes are going in and out of focus.. luckily my first class this morning is drawing clinic. i'm always awake for that class.. it's so refreshing to draw.. to shake the right side of my brain a little from its prepetual slumber..

:(

i didn't get a wink of sleep last night. i've been pulling an all nighter for my studio project. i'm about to head to school to plot out what i've got and start filling in the lines.. literally..because that's how sinister my teacha' is.

i downloaded some new songs i've been playing like a broken record.. music keeps me sane. i'm about to lose it now. i have a paper to finish writing tonight... so there goes any hope for sleep.. nah.. i'll prolly come home, crash, and then start writing around 10 or 11pm. then another all nighter. i really need the weekend.. not much time to relax though. i have another paper due next week...and god knows what other assignments i'll have for studio by the end of today. there's this friend in my studio who dropped two of his classes because this studio and another class were too much.. plus he was working full time. now he's dropped the working thing and just taking 9 hours of classes..and he's stressed out.. how can you not be? the workload just screams "no life for you! no sleep for you!"

okay. i'm going to stop bitching now and get ready for school. where's the caffeine?

aahh.. nice and toasty in here. it's been raining all day. on my way to the bus (running) I landed in a big puddle of water. my left foot got soaked. I've been freezing ever since today.

For some odd reason I'm on the netscape news listserv... so i always get these stupid netscape emails that i automatically delete. today i actually clicked on a link that went to the grammy awards. my only comment is that the grammy producers have been paying close attention to mtv this last decade... it's been riddled with pop icon nominees.. ah well. but that's so not important. The url has this music departments side bar and i clicked on radio. it gave me this pretty generic list of songs i could listen to on their interenet radio. after first i hit the lite rock scene.. then found the new age...i kept browsing and saw a celtic channel. wohoo! yeah! i love celtic/irish folk music! i can never get enough of it... wow. awesome.

http://music.netscape.com/music/radio/

also. i'm not sure if like the picture they used for tori amos on the grammy photo gallery.
i've always thought of her as a wild crazy spirit.. and this picture is just so refined...but maybe i'm not seeing something.. heh.. who knew she'd make such a great glam gal.

okay i've written about half of my paper. i'm going to try and complete it tonight. i have a lot of work to do for tomorrow. this reading has been tough. at some points of the reading i'll get through reading a paragraph 3 times and realize it was only two sentences long.

For example "But, if the ideally neutral observer is surely a critical fiction, if among the multiplicity of phenomena with which we are surrounded we observe what we wish to observe, if our judgments are inherently selective because the quantity of factual information is finally indigestible, and if any literal usage of a "neutral" grid labours under approximate problems, a myth of the architect as eighteenth -century natural philosopher, with all this little measuring rods, balances, and retorts, as both messiah and scientist, Moses and Newton (a myth which which became all the more ludicrous after its annexation by the archtiect's less well-pedigreed cousin, the planner) must now be brought into proximity with The Savage Mind and with everything which bricolage represents." -from an excerpt of Collin Rowe's and Fred Koetter's Collage City...

so its been tough getting through..interpeting and analysing... i'm kind of glad that i forced myself to chose this piece..while it is complex.. it is even more so profound. i just wish i could grasp it all...

dessy joins me... sleepy head.

i have a slight headache. i think i'm going to take some tylenol.
i'm just sitting here waiting for jeremy to arrive.
he should be here shortly. i think we're going to go eat at this place called vinny's.. it's an italian dig near the lake.

today was a cold day. i think this place has poor insulation..
i had to put on two socks today to keep my feet warm.
pooh socks to the rescue.

i've been working on paid work all day today.
it's a good thing we don't have class today in studio.
i'm supposed to be working on studio stuff..but paid work is due today.

i don't know how i'm going to keep up with everything. i have to write a paper this weekend as well.

oh well.
enjoy my lunch for now.