Where have all the Cool jobs gone?

My job is way beyond stressful as of late. It’s not even because I’m particularly overloaded with work. I just hate the work I do and the lack of resources they give me to do it.

I’m one of those people who likes to be able to perfect and make things more efficient. Working from home is great cuz I don’t have to deal with people but I also have zero resources. It’s gotten to the point that I’m fairly sure I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing anymore and I HATE that.

I’ve gotten to a point where I’m dreaming about getting laid off or fired every night now. It’s such a stress. I hate it. Sometimes I don’t get why we spend so much time doing things we hate. Yes, the world has to turn but with current technology isn’t it a shame we don’t have more options?

I mean, you’d think that we could get beyond the menial and mindless shit by now and only be doing things that require creativity and logic.

In other news I have a stupid blemish on my chin this week and I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror. One of my biggest phobias is getting a zit on my nose. lol. that was random.

Oh yeah, I tried out vlogging today and decided I didn’t like the way I looked when I’m glaring into the camera. It’s so hard to talk to a camera and not sorta get that glossy look. I really react to other people’s reactions when I’m talking. I might try it again later. Maybe it will help if I put the camera further back so you can’t see my eyes as well.

Blog-22

The fucked up thing about blogging these days is that you want to talk about shit that’s going down around you and concerning the people around you. However, everyone is online now and everyone usually knows where your blog is because, yea, sometimes you want to share your thoughts..but then you don’t want them to feel bad when you write about them.

I’m ISTJ. Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging. My two highest are Introverted and Judging. I judge a lot. I observe people around me and situations and reflect upon them until they are inside out and over. A lot of times I have to write about these things to get them from jamming up my head. The last thing I’d want though is for people to think that I’m bashing them on a blog or using their grief or my grief as an exploit.

So anyhow, that’s why secret blogs are necessary…so you have a place to write the stuff you really want to write without fear of saying something wrong.

The Other Blog

So I finally imported this blog over from livejournal to blogger. I just like the look and feel of blogger better. I’m a google girl so it’s  a no brainer for me. The only reason I moved in the first place was because livejournal didn’t allow video embed a few years back when I was creating my podcast blog. Dumb move. They must have lost a ton of users because of it.

In a few months, I will probably eradicate the account from existence and then be exclusive to blogger. Anyhow, the reason I’m even revamping this blog even though I have a few other ones that are more public is because this one isn’t public.

And I just really need to be able to post sometimes without the feel that anyone is reading this or that people will feel obligated to talk to me about what I posted.

For example, tonight, I’ve just had a really shitty night. I had this argument that made me realize how impatient most people are these days. On top of that, yesterday I had this conversation with an acquaintance that really pissed me off.

So many people around me seem unable to pull their heads out of their asses and learn to take care of themselves. These are grown men and women I’m talking about. There is new emerging culture of fucktard lazies who expect everything to be handed to them. Forget generation X, this is generation “gimme”. I find the whole thing disheartening. HOW are we as a country ever going to compete in the near future? It’s just so hard to watch opportunities go to waste because no one bothered to teach this new generation how to take care of themselves or to WANT to take care of themselves.

I have a friend who couldn’t afford rent last week who is now talking about buying some entertainment center this week. This whole thing makes you do a double take. There was a guy a year or so ago whom I offered to help get a job, temporarily stay with us until he found a place of his own or had to go back to school. He didn’t take it because he said he was too scared to move out of his home town. And now he’s flat out broke and working some minimum wage job. It’s like why don’t people understand that there is a time where you have to grow up. That the Peter Pan lifestyle is a myth. You are going to HAVE to do the shitty things in life or the unpleasant things in life to get by. This isn’t 15 second youtube video people. You can’t move onto the next video when you’re bored or things are sucky. You have to sit through the whole thing and deal with it!

UGH. Anyhow, today I just can’t deal with people. Today I want to be surrounded in black. God, sometimes I wish I could erase the things I know.